WHERE IS THE EMPATHY?

To most people, it didn’t seem like a big deal. But I am not “most people.” For me, it was like the worst betrayal of a horse’s trust. Even now, 24 hours later, I can’t throw off my cloak of guilt.

My horse knew. I am sure of it. Walking towards her field, headcollar in hand, she did something she has never done before in the nine years she has been with me. She had been standing quietly by her gate, until she spotted me. Then, it was like someone had flicked a switch. Up and down the field she thundered, like a streak of light, reaching speeds I didn’t know she was capable of, the whole time neighing and screaming “Save me, save me.” But from what? I was soon to discover.

I stood quietly, eyes lowered. A few times she sailed past me, snorting like a stallion. Eventually, she responded to the calm, loving energy I directed her way. Her head dropped, followed by her adrenaline. I quietly placed on her headcollar, and she walked softly by my side.

In her stable, I gave her a little Reiki, asking her to please trust me. With soft eyes and relaxed body, she was enjoying the beautiful shared energy. Everything was good in her world.

I talked softly to her, explaining what was about to happen. Her eye settled on me, and I knew she was listening. The plan was to lead her into the stable at the end of the row, where her teeth would be attended to.

Dentistry, like shoeing, has never been an issue for Jazz. She has always been relaxed, calm and accommodating, knowing that these people are trying to help her. But this occasion was a bit different. We would be dealing with a new dentist on the yard, one that had come highly recommended. So much so that 14 horses on the yard had been booked in with him. Jazz was the last to go.

Jazz walked calmly into the stable, placing her trust in my instructions. But as she turned around to face the dentist, she was met with what I can only describe as hostile energy. This man had adopted a predator stance – standing tall, muscles rigid, giving my horse the hard stare. It was obvious to me, that my beautiful thoroughbred, so sensitive to energy, instantly felt threatened. Her head shot up and I could see the whites of her eyes. OMG! What had I done?

The next half hour was very difficult to witness. Yes, it could have been a lot worse, and to most people it was probably a small price to pay for good dentistry work. But like I said before, I am not “most people.” There was no shouting or smacking (unless you count the thumps on the shoulder), but this man’s energy was screaming at my horse “You had better behave or else.” He was rude and disrespectful to my horse, calling her a “cow” and reducing her to an “It.” She was stripped of her sentience, her soul and her dignity. My beautiful horse’s muscles were held rigid in terror, and she was trembling so hard that she was rendered a quivering wreck.

So where was I in all this? Forced to stand in the doorway, lest my horse decided to explode when she came out of her “freeze” state, I was not even able to reassure her with a comforting touch. “Too dangerous a situation” I was told, “Just leave her with me.” This was not a request, but an order. But for crying out loud, this is my beloved horse with whom I have spent the last nine years. I trust her not to hurt me a thousand times more than this man in front of me.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I was not there for my horse. As an empath, I was mirroring the same shut down state as my horse. Silent, rigid and locked inside my body, unable to move or speak. I could feel the sympathy of the people standing behind me, but I could also hear their thoughts. “There is no need to be so sensitive. He is only doing his job after all. So what if he has to put a bit of pressure on the horse.”

Finally, it was at an end. I was handed her rope and told to be very careful leading her out of the stable as she would probably run out. But this part of the story I did have control over. As I felt my horse relax at the feel of my touch, I sent her a wave of love, calm and softness from my heart to hers, along with a picture of walking calmly out of the stable. Very, very slowly, as if in slow motion we stepped out, sauntering down the rows of stables. Would anyone notice this softness, this calm? Probably not! People only see what they want to.

It was my horse who needed comforting, but she was the one there for me. As I led her to her field, she covered my face with soft, gentle kisses. “It is not your fault. You weren’t to know” she was saying. Later, when I went to her field, she embraced me with a huge whinny, walking over to greet me.

The rest of the evening she was so attentive, so forgiving. We put our horses through so much, yet they are always there for us, beseeching us to let go of our grievances and to live in the moment. Forgiving us for everything we put them through.

There is always another side of the story, and like the people on the yard, some may say, “Isn’t it worth putting your horse through half an hour of this, to make them really comfortable and happy in their mouth. Short term pain for long term gain!”

But I don’t understand why we can’t have both. Good dentistry and an attitude of compassion and empathy towards the horse. This idea that you have to be controlling and bullying towards the horse to do your job is just a nonsense. And for the previous nine years, my horse has proven this. All my horse needed was for this man to meet her in a friendly, non-threatening manner, and to be gentle, but firm. This has always worked for her.

I yearn for a world where not only the needs of the horse are met, but one where they are recognized as a soulful equal. Today, that world seems a long way off. Just the recognition of horses as sentient beings, where they are afforded the dignity and respect they so rightly deserve, seems a huge evolutionary leap. For now, I will continue to dream!

(postscript: Jazz’s teeth are now attended to by a very skilled, qualified dentist, who is extremely competent, and who has lovely, quiet energy. Jazz is once again happy to have her teeth done. This man has restored my faith!)